If you are having a grandeur of a life now, probably you will want to skip this blog entry of mine :-) If you perceive I'm being too long-winded, well, think again, when you hit mid-life . . . .
Seemingly these days, I've been indulging quite a bit in self-reflection, mulling over my inner thoughts (of desires, hopes, despair, frustration, etc.) and soul. After having staggered through half of my life-time (hopefully :-) ), I should have sufficient capacity to exercise some self-observation. On the other hand, needing to do this may not be a good thing I guess, coz if one is currently enjoying a charming life, there is nothing to ponder about, right ?
I've been experiencing quite a bit in loathing of the soul nowadays. At any moment of time, Life can never be fair, but in the long run, will everything equal itself out ? Deep inside, I'm praying it will be, soon. People says, Change is good. Is it ? My life has been reverberating quite a good deal the last half a decade or so, resonating between the peaks and valleys within the wide spectrum of emotional upheaval, although it appears that I've been spending most of my time in those lonely and dispirited valleys instead :-( Aargh, when can I crawl myself out of this black hole ? One year, 5 years, a decade or till eternity ? Like Viv says and I concur : Day by day, night by night - yes, my life's vista is only that small of a window, each hour, each minute, each second, wearily waiting for that faint light of hope. Guess this wispy promise of a better tomorrow will have to be my guidance and encouragement for now. When can I be reunited with my family ? When can I resurrect my listless career, or will there be any positive twist of fate ? When will my financial situation improve, from the current 'survival' mode ? Well, I imagine the next 24 months would be pivotal for the next half century (or probably less) of my existence. Fingers crossed, that my family and I will not need to labor through much choppy waters, by then.
May God Bless . . . .
Seemingly these days, I've been indulging quite a bit in self-reflection, mulling over my inner thoughts (of desires, hopes, despair, frustration, etc.) and soul. After having staggered through half of my life-time (hopefully :-) ), I should have sufficient capacity to exercise some self-observation. On the other hand, needing to do this may not be a good thing I guess, coz if one is currently enjoying a charming life, there is nothing to ponder about, right ?
I've been experiencing quite a bit in loathing of the soul nowadays. At any moment of time, Life can never be fair, but in the long run, will everything equal itself out ? Deep inside, I'm praying it will be, soon. People says, Change is good. Is it ? My life has been reverberating quite a good deal the last half a decade or so, resonating between the peaks and valleys within the wide spectrum of emotional upheaval, although it appears that I've been spending most of my time in those lonely and dispirited valleys instead :-( Aargh, when can I crawl myself out of this black hole ? One year, 5 years, a decade or till eternity ? Like Viv says and I concur : Day by day, night by night - yes, my life's vista is only that small of a window, each hour, each minute, each second, wearily waiting for that faint light of hope. Guess this wispy promise of a better tomorrow will have to be my guidance and encouragement for now. When can I be reunited with my family ? When can I resurrect my listless career, or will there be any positive twist of fate ? When will my financial situation improve, from the current 'survival' mode ? Well, I imagine the next 24 months would be pivotal for the next half century (or probably less) of my existence. Fingers crossed, that my family and I will not need to labor through much choppy waters, by then.
May God Bless . . . .
